


Life in Prison

by NotfunnyDean (IronEyes)



Series: Castiel Bingo [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Prison, Angst with a Happy Ending, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Cute Dean Winchester, Dean crushed hard, Dean had sex for money in his past, Dean had to steal food to eat, Dean has a bad past, Dean has a hard time in prison, First Kiss, First Time, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Hurt Dean Winchester, Implied Top Castiel, M/M, Non-Penetrative Sex, Prison, Prison Sex, Protective Castiel (Supernatural), Semi-Public Sex, Soft Dean Winchester, Thief Dean Winchester, Thief!Dean, almost murderer Castiel, almost rape (non Destiel), but so does Cas, implied bottom dean winchester, kinda public sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-30
Updated: 2020-06-30
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:09:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25000672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IronEyes/pseuds/NotfunnyDean
Summary: When Dean gets arrested for stealing food, he has to face prison at 21. He is scared and his cellmate seems a bit harsh too. Will he warm up to him eventually? Or could he even fall in love with a prisoner?
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: Castiel Bingo [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1809922
Comments: 6
Kudos: 146





	Life in Prison

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Kasterborous_System](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kasterborous_System/gifts).



> Wohhooo I'm back again. So in my Discord Family I set up all my Bingos and people can finally tell me to move my ass and write them! So they wish for a story with a topic they like from my bingo cards.
> 
> And it seems to work :D I wrote this one this weekend.
> 
> This is for my very own personal Charlie <3

Dean is in handcuffs.

He is nervous. It’s not his first time and will probably not be the last time that he is wearing them, but he hates the reason for it. He had worn them so many times, but sadly never for any sexy stuff.

He chuckles quietly at his own thoughts, only to almost stumble with his next step. The corridor is dark and cold, Dean is only wearing this orange jumper and he hates it already. It’s scratchy and not comfortable at all.

There are several men looking at him, as he and the policemen wander towards his new home for the next six months. Dean swallows loudly. Six months is a long time and he already misses his Sammy and Baby and…

“We’re here Winchester. Your cellmate is already waiting for you. Better be nice to him.” One of the policemen says and Dean nods slowly. He really hopes his fellow inmate is not totally crazy or wants to kill him.

The heavy door towards his cell opens and Dean hears someone behind him whistle. He turns around for a second only to see two guys through their bars. They both have ugly smiles on their face and one of them even rubs his hand.

“Fresh meat.” One of them says and Dean hastily looks away again. He knows at 21 he is surely one of the younger guys here, but he’s not weak. His father had taught him a lot of moves before he had vanished.

Leaving him and Sammy without looking back.

“Novak. Greet your new cellmate.” The Officer says and with that he pushes Dean inside. Dean stumbles again, because he is also wearing cuffs to his feet and he falls on his knees and elbows.

“Ouch.” Dean whimpers quietly, already embarrassed. He turns clumsily around until he sits on his ass. He hears the other two from the opposite cell laugh and even the two officers are grinning.

One of them bends down to open the cuffs and when he’s done, Dean rubs over his wrists. before looking around. The officers close the cell and leave. Dean looks after them and then focuses on his new ‘room’.

There is a loft bunk, a table with two chairs and behind a small wall a toilet and a sink. Dean almost gags at that and then he finally notices a guy standing at the small window looking outside to the cloudy sky. The sun is just going down.

“Uh hi. I’m Dean.” Dean stutters out and then even does an awkward wave. As the guy turns around, his tongue gets tied completely. He doesn’t seem taller than Dean but still intimidating and his eyes are such a bright blue, that Dean can feel a blush creep up.

“Hello.” The guys says, Novak had the guard said. He looks kinda angry, maybe just grumpy but Dean takes a step back and then doesn’t know what to say.

“Hey Novak, nice young fella you got there.” One of the other guys opposite from them says again and Dean shudders a bit. He hopes to never meet those guys, but he is pretty sure when they got their breaks, he has to.

“Shut up Zachariah.” 

Dean doesn’t dare to look around as he hears them laughing. Zachariah. Dean takes a mental note and then awkwardly sits on one of the chairs. He doesn’t dare to touch the bed yet.

“So I hope at least the food is good here.” Dean says, going for another easy smile. Novak doesn’t smile back, he squints even more. Dean almost slides down his chair to make himself smaller.

Normally he is way more confident, but he’s scared of this prison and the guy looks like sex on legs, which is absolutely not helping at all.

“Well I cook it, so maybe think twice about insulting it.” Novak answers and then goes over to his sink, to wash himself up. Dean winces at that, already shoving his own foot in his mouth. Sam would have a laugh.

If he’d been here…

“No worries. I love all kinds of foods.” Dean says and he sees how Novak shakes his head at him. He doesn’t know what else to do or say, but Novak is probably already annoyed with him anyway.

Dean tends to babble when he’s nervous.

“I will read now and then sleep. Be quiet.” Novak says, when he’s finished with washing up. Dean nods and then scratches his head.

“Top or Bottom?” Dean says and points at their bed. He doesn’t mind either way, but he’s sure Novak already has picked one for him, but they both look perfectly made so Dean can’t tell which one would be his.

“I’m always a top.” 

Oh. Okay. Dean swallows again, manages a shaky grin and then hastily lays down in the bottom bed. The blanket is very light and Dean sighs at the underside of the bed above him.

He wants to go home.

  


*

  


“Winchester!” 

Dean hastily straightens his back and looks toward the officer, who had called him. He sighs, when he sees the mop and the bucket. He had known that he would have to work here, but he had hoped to be a cook or something as well.

“Clean the kitchen and better do it good.” The officer says and he kinda reminds Dean of his Dad. Same voice, same stature. Dean nods and takes everything he needs.

“Yes, sir.” Dean mumbles and the Officer grins.

“If you behave nicely in here, the sooner you can go home to the rest of your pathetic family.” The Officer continues and Dean swallows down what he would like to say to his asshole. Sam is everything he has left, but he is the best family he could ever ask for.

(Well maybe besides his Mom.)

Dean turns around and wanders off to the kitchen. It smells fantastic in here and Dean’s stomach rumbles loudly. He wishes he could steal some of the food already, but that’s what got him here in the first place.

It should be only an hour or so anyway. Besides Dean has a job to do. He opens the door and sneaks inside. There are a lot of people in here, but to Dean’s surprise no officers. 

Novak is standing at one of the stoves and stirs something in a really huge pot. Dean takes the bucket and walks over to the sink, so he can fill it with water and some soap. The sink is next to Novak and Dean smiles a bit at him.

“Long time no see.” Dean says, because they left their cell maybe an hour ago. Castiel only snorts and Dean thinks he messed it up again.

He kinda hoped his six months here wouldn’t be with someone who hates him, but what can you do.

“Oh Castiel, is that your sweet new roomie? He looks adorable.” A guy next to Novak, no _Castiel_ , says and Dean blushes badly at that. He almost lets his bucket fall, while Castiel rolls his eyes.

“Yes Balthazar, meet Dean Winchester.” Castiel says, he still concentrates on his food and Dean looks at Balthazar, who actually holds out his hand. Dean smiles and shakes it.

“Aren’t you a doll!” Balthazar says and Dean doesn’t really know how to answer that. He shrugs a bit awkwardly and then points at Castiel.

“Don’t think he likes me that much.” Dean says and Castiel doesn’t even smile at that. He just takes a step back and searches for something in one of the drawers. Dean tries not to be disappointed.

“Cassie always needs time to warm up. He hated me when I first met him.” Balthazar explains and he even winks. Dean chuckles without wanting to.

“Who says I stopped hating you?” Castiel says and Balthazar laughs loudly, before he flips him off and walks back to the other side of the room. Dean takes the bucket and leaves before Castiel can say anything. 

He’s a bit scared Castiel will get angry with him or something.

Dean wipes the floor quietly. He wishes he had any music to listen to. He misses his phone already and it’s been one day. Sadly he catches himself watching Castiel for most of the time.

He had always liked boys, but… he didn’t act on it. At least not romantically, he had just used them to…

Dean shakes his head.

“So Dean tell me what got you here?” Balthazar is back, just as Dean starts to clean the counters. The food looks finished and should be served soon. Castiel leans against the wall not too far away.

“Ah I’d rather not talk about it.” Dean says and Balthazar laughs again. Dean isn’t sure if he likes the guy or if he should try not to see him again. At least he wasn’t as disgusting as Zachariah and his cellmate. Uriel was his name, Dean had heard.

“Don’t be so shy. I bet it was murder. Slit your mother’s throat maybe? Killed a girlfriend? I did before, I know it’s easier than to break off with someone.” Balthazar says, sounding almost bored and Dean realizes for the first time how dangerous it is here.

His eyes turn damp against his will while his mother is mentioned.

“Leave him alone Balthazar.” Castiel says now, already pulling on Balthazar’s shoulder. To Dean’s luck Balthazar actually shrugs and then they are all redeemed when an Officer comes in and tells them to serve the food.

Dean leaves the kitchen as fast as he can. He just walks behind a dozen other people and finds himself in the huge cafeteria. He feels overwhelmed, knowing there are so many bad people around him.

But he straightens his shoulders and walks over to get himself some food. Luckily different people are serving it, so there is no Balthazar or Castiel and Dean learns fast that he can’t even decide what he wants to eat. He gets what everyone gets.

Not that he normally minds, he loves every kind of food. He takes his tray and walks over to the tables. It’s loud in here, everyone is chatting and there are a lot of officers at the exits. Dean isn’t sure where to sit.

He can see that Castiel sits at a table with 3 other people. Balthazar is one of them, while Dean would love to see next to Castiel, he is sure his cellmate would hate the idea. And he is a bit scared of Balthazar.

In the end he sits at a table alone. It doesn’t matter. He tells himself he doesn’t need friends from here anyway, but it would’ve been nice somehow. He doesn’t want to spend his time here being scared and alone.

If he only had Sammy right now.

Dean takes a spoon of the chili Castiel had made earlier and he actually groans at the first bite. It tastes delicious and he kinda wishes he could get more. He hears a laugh behind him and turns a dark red, because of the sound he just made.

“Seems like it does taste good, hm?” 

Dean is a bit perplexed, when Castiel sits down at the opposite of him. He isn’t smiling, but he looks a lot kinder. Dean shyly nods, praying to god that he didn’t hear the moan coming out of his mouth.

“It’s… really good yeah.” Dean mumbles, keeping his eyes on his own plate and trying not to look like a total dumbass. 

“I wanted to apologize for Balthazar. Neither of us are good with people but I have the feeling he is worse. He never killed anyone, he’s just …. well Balthazar.” Castiel explains and Dean kinda wants to ask him if he ever killed someone.

Is he sharing a cell with a murderer?

“It’s okay, I’m just an idiot. I shouldn’t have taken it to the heart, but my Mom…” Dean stops himself there, nobody cares for his sob story. Not even the other kids back in school had cared, nor the teachers. 

Dean sniffles and tries to play it off as if he got something in his throat.

“You don’t have to tell me.” Castiel says and Dean nods, glad he doesn’t have to talk about it. They continue to eat in silence, Dean is actually surprised that Castiel stays. He can see the looks Balthazar gives them, but they both seem to ignore it.

“You got more work?” Castiel asks when Dean is finished. He can’t remember the last time he had this much food and he pats his stomach happily.

“I don’t think so. I’m on duty clean the kitchen each day while you make lunch.” Dean says and shrugs. He assumes they are allowed to go outside now and then he will be caged in his cell again. 

Maybe it won’t be so bad this time?

Maybe Castiel would be nicer.

Dean sighs and follows everyone outside.

  


*

  


A month later Dean feels a bit better. Well no, actually he feels worse. He misses Sammy more than anything, but one of the officers told him he could maybe see him soon. 

“Get up grumpy.” Dean says happily, while he throws Castiel’s pillow against his head. Castiel growls.

“Leave me alone Winchester.” Castiel says and turns to his other side. Dean sighs, while they got along a bit more, Castiel is still not too happy about him. Dean tries really hard, but his cellmate is still often annoyed with him.

“Sorry.” Dean mumbles and is out of the cell in a second, when an officer opens it. He does his duty in the kitchen, while Castiel ignores him again. It’s weird. Sometimes they talk late into the night.

Other days Castiel gives him the cold shoulder all day.

Dean… Dean may be in love with him and he already hates himself for it. He’d never been in love before, but he is pretty sure that it feels exactly like this. He sighs, harder when Castiel doesn’t even join him at lunch.

It doesn’t even make sense. Sure Castiel is stunning and Dean is sure everyone would be glad to have him at their side. But he’s also often enough an asshole and he’s in prison. But then there are so many moments where he just seems so sweet. Dean’s head hurts.

He goes to shower after lunch instead of joining Castiel in the sun. He’s so frustrated at himself and Castiel. Yesterday Castiel had told him so many great stories and Dean’s heart had clenched at each one.

Sometimes his fingers ache to get tangled in Castiel’s dark hair.

Dean shakes his head and puts his clothes aside, before he steps under the shower. It’s warm outside and he was sweating all morning while cleaning. He’s glad for the cold water on his skin.

“Oh if that isn’t a nice view.”

Dean cringes at that voice. Zachariah again. For some reason the older man had found something in Dean that he really seems to like. Dean hates him. Uriel is of course at his side and Dean almost turns around.

But it’s already bad enough that they stare at his ass.

“Don’t enjoy it too much.” Dean answers calmly as he continues to wash his hair. Zachariah of course uses the shower directly next to him. At least there is a wall between them that goes up to Dean’s hip.

“I can do what I want.” Zachariah says and Dean can see how his hands wander down to his cock. Dean almost gags, but decides to just ignore them. He can’t see Uriel but he hopes he is far away.

He can hear a shower at the end of the room and is a bit relieved. So they won’t team up against him. Dean had always showered when he knew that Zachariah or Uriel weren’t there.

One time at lunch Zachariah had even smacked his ass, while everyone had laughed. Dean had ignored that, too. Castiel had told him why Zachariah was here and Dean has no interest in meeting the guy’s anger first hand.

Dean hopes he will just leave, but in the end Dean rinses his hair clean and hastily washes his body, before something can happen. He leaves out the area of his crotch. Dean turns his shower off and just then Zachariah holds him at his wrist.

“So Dean. I heard you need money.” Zachariah starts and Dean tries to get away from him. His towel is too far away and Zachariah’s grip is too strong. He can’t even kick him because of the wall.

“Let me go.” Dean growls but Zachariah laughs.

“My friend Alastair told me you’re really good at sucking dick. I think I should test that.” Zachariah says slowly and there is this disgusting grin on his face. Dean feels like puking. He remembers Alastair.

It had been a lot of money, but Dean had felt so dirty afterwards. So ashamed of himself and he hadn’t managed to look Sam into the eyes for almost a week. But they had needed the money… it had been expensive to buy the books for school.

“Maybe I don’t want to suck your dick.” Dean says and Zachariah laughs loudly, as if Dean had just told him the funniest joke ever. Uriel is not at the door, seems like he has to watch out for anyone to come in.

Not that Dean believes an officer would help him.

“I think you should be very grateful that I even want to fuck your face. I even allow you to imagine that you’re sucking Novak off.” Zachariah says and Dean knows there is a dirty blush creeping up his face.

Even the tips of his ears burn.

“Leave me alone!” Dean says again and this time he can free his hand at least. He wants to run off but Uriel is still waiting at the door. So Dean does the best next thing and takes his clothes. 

He is embarrassed that those two assholes can see his dick, but he hastily gets his underwear on. The jumpsuit is next but he only has it up to his hips, when Zachariah rounds the wall.

“I said you should leave me alone!” Dean growls, but he knows he is kinda fucked. Zachariah laughs again and Dean gets goosebumps at that. He really needs to think about a way to get out of here. Uriel looks strong, but Dean knows a few tricks.

“And I said if you want your brother to get some food, you should be a lot nicer to me.” Zachariah continues and Dean swallows. He has no idea why Zachariah knows that, he didn’t tell Alastair why he needed the money. But it makes everything worse. 

Dean’s eyes fill up with tears again and Zachariah pushes him to the ground. Dean’s jumpsuit is still open, the legs of it now wet because his shower is still on. Dean looks down.

There is some noise from Uriel’s spot and Dean is scared that he will join them for a moment. 

“I suggest if you wanna survive this day, you leave him alone.”

Dean’s head jerks up, when he sees Castiel in the doorway. Uriel is now several steps away from him and he doesn’t look too happy. Almost afraid. Dean doesn’t know what to do himself.

He would like to just hold his arms out for Castiel, but that would probably be embarrassing.

Zachariah at least takes a towel and ties it around his hips. Dean slowly gets up himself, mortified that Castiel had seen him like this, he probably thought Dean was a slut and would now never want him.

“Dean come here.” Castiel says and Dean goes slowly over to him. The jumpsuit almost falls down, so Dean holds it up. He’s not looking up, because he doesn’t want to see the disgust in Castiel’s eyes.

Dean waits as he stands in front of Castiel and doesn’t even know for what. Castiel takes the ends of his jumpsuit and pulls it up over Dean’s shoulders, so he is finally covered up completely. He even closes the buttons for him.

“Are you okay?” Castiel whispers and now Dean dares to look up again. Castiel looks worried and even a bit scared on his behalf, not disgusted or grossed out. Not even angry. At least not at him.

“Y-yeah.” Dean says shakily, he ducks away, when the first tear falls down his cheek, but Castiel just presses him close to himself. Hugging him softly and Dean puts his head on Castiel’s shoulder.

He can’t help that he is shaking.

“I didn’t want that.” Dean whispers, because he wants Castiel to know that he isn’t… he never _wanted_ to, but sometimes he just had to. Castiel strokes over his hair, soothing him.

“I know.” Castiel whispers back and Dean finally relaxes.

It’s quiet in the bathroom now, even though the showers are still on. Dean can’t hear Uriel or Zachariah anymore, maybe they already left?

“If I ever see you two near him again, I will rip your dicks off.” Castiel growls and Dean would be scared if that was directed at him. Like this he only cuddles closer, hoping this hug will never end.

Zachariah and Uriel don’t even answer Castiel, but Dean can hear them leave. Sounds almost as if they are running.

“It’s okay. Everything will be okay.” Castiel hums quietly and for the first time in his life, Dean believes those words directed at him.

  


*

  


“Winchester?”

Dean sits up from his bed and looks at the officer, who had just opened their cell. It’s afternoon and normally that means staying in the cell and waiting for dinner, that you eat there.

“Yeah?” Dean says, Castiel is at the table playing cards with himself.

“You got a visitor.” The Officer says and Dean is on his feet before he even had said the last word fully. Maybe it’s Sam! Dean really hopes it’s not the lawyer he got from the government, that guy was a dough.

“See you later, Cas!” Dean says and Castiel waves, without looking up from his cards.

Dean sighs quietly but follows the officer. He had thought that after the bathroom incident, things would’ve changed between them. But there are enough times where Castiel doesn’t speak to him.

At least Zachariah and Uriel never dared to come up to him again. Even Balthazar seems a lot kinder, only greets him with an easy smile or saves Dean some pie secretly in the kitchen.

Dean walks down the cold floor, remembering how scared he was when he first was here. This time he gets to see some other corridor and then the officer opens a dark blue door. Dean gasps.

Sammy is sitting there, waiting for him. There is a stupid glass wall between them, so Dean can’t hug him, but he doesn’t care at all.

“Sammy!” 

Dean barely registers that the officer leaves. They probably got cameras here to see when Dean acts up, but Dean doesn’t care. He’s just happy to see his little brother.

“Dean.”

Sam doesn’t sound happy to see him, even his smile looks more strained than anything. Dean’s heart beats a lot faster.

“Are you okay? Did you…. did you eat? Did you found somewhere to live…” Dean starts to ramble, scared that somehow the government took him away. Maybe he is already adopted and Dean would not see him again. Sammy is only 17. Too young to stay alone.

“I live with Bobby now. It’s nice there.” Sam says and Dean feels relieved. Okay Uncle Bobby would probably take good care of Sam. At least he is safe and now that Dean can breath he sees that Sam looks a lot better.

“That’s… that’s good. I’m glad Sammy.” Dean whispers, his smile hurts a bit because that would for sure mean that he wants to stay with Bobby. Dean swallows. He had always known that Sam would leave him eventually, Dean had saved a lot of money so Sam could start a new life in Stanford.

“I just wonder why we didn’t go see him before you got yourself in prison. You _stole_ the food, Dean over months! I want to be a lawyer and my brother is in prison, bet that looks great in my application.” Sam continues and Dean coughs slightly.

“I had my reasons.” Dean mumbles ashamed. He had stolen the food, because he had run out of money and nobody had wanted to hire him. After Alastair he hadn’t… he hadn’t wanted to do that again and when he didn’t make enough at hustling pool games, he stole what they needed.

He had thought about going to Bobby before, but he also had been so scared, to see that Bobby is just as disappointed in him, like their dad always was. 

Dean hadn’t want to burden him with his stupid face.

“You are just a coward! Bobby was really glad to see me and he’s angry at you for stealing, but he doesn’t hate you.” Sam says and Dean nods slowly. He knows Sam is right, but he hates that Sam sounds so disappointed.

That’s what he’s doing at his best, hurting people he loves. Being a disappointment.

“So will you… will you stay with Bobby?” Dean asks, because he just has to make sure that Sam is safe. That has always been his priority.

Sam nods slowly.

“Yeah I actually just came to tell you that Stanford accepted me. When you’re out here, I will be gone. Bobby will drive me there. And I think it might be better my criminal brother wouldn’t visit me there.” Sam says and Dean feels as if someone just ripped out his heart.

He gets up from the chair, feeling numb all over. He can’t even look at Sammy again. He had lost his mother, then his father and now the last piece of his family.

“I’m so proud of you, Sam. I always knew you would be accepted. I hope… I really hope you will be happy. And I’m sorry. G-goodbye Sammy.” Dean knocks on the door and lets the officer know that he wants to leave. He is glad his voice only breaks once.

He doesn’t even turn around to look at Sam again.

The walk back is quiet and Dean wishes something could distract him from his thoughts. He had meant what he said. He really hopes Sammy will be happy and he is proud. He can understand that Sam doesn’t want to see him anymore.

He doesn’t like to see himself either and he’s glad they don’t have a mirror in their cell.

When his cell opens, Dean isn’t looking at Castiel either. Instead he just falls on his bed and when he is sure that the officer is gone, he silently cries into his pillow. He can feel his shoulders shaking, but he doesn’t care.

“Dean?!” 

Dean doesn’t answer Castiel, but he also can’t stop his sobs either. He doesn’t even care if the others can all hear him. He just doesn’t know what to do.

He hears Castiel getting up and then the bed behind him dips. Castiel’s arms are around him and he presses his chest against Dean’s back, holding him tightly but also carefully. Dean hiccups badly.

“He h-hates me.” Dean cries and he turns around, so he can press his hot face against Castiel’s chest. Castiel makes a surprised noise but continues to hold him. Dean’s voice is shaking.

“Who?” Castiel asks and then he even strokes down Dean’s chest. They are so close again and Dean never had gotten so much affection before, he’s embarrassed to say that he enjoys this a lot.

He wishes someone would always be there to hold him. Coddle him even.

“My brother. He… he never wants me to see him again and why would he?” Dean feels as if there is not enough air around him and he breathes harder. Castiel puts one of his hands on Dean’s chest, trying to do anything to make him feel better.

“I’m sure he didn’t mean it that way. He can be glad to have you.” Castiel’s voice is calm and even soothing, but Dean sits a bit up for a moment.

“Yeah? Glad to have a brother that steals? I don’t think so. He wants to be a lawyer, got accepted to Stanford and I… I put that on a risk. I could’ve destroyed that just because I was too good to continue sucking people off and stole the food instead of paying for it with dirty money.” Dean growls out and he slaps a hand over his mouth when he realizes what he said. 

Castiel’s next inhale is way too loud.

“I’m sorry.” Castiel whispers and Dean crumbles under those words again. Fuck he probably will never have a chance with Castiel anyway.

“You should’ve never had to feel like you need to sell your body to get money. I’m sorry that you had to steal food to survive and feed your brother. It breaks my heart to hear this, but I’m not… I’m not sorry that you’re here in my arms.” Castiel says and Dean shifts a bit away from him, so he can see his face better. He wipes over his face.

“What?”

“Dean you are so precious and beautiful and utterly perfect, that I can’t believe life treated you this way. It’s not your fault, not any of this. I’m sure while your brother is now angry, he will greet you with open arms once you get out of here. I just wish I could help you.” Castiel continues and Dean is sure he is dreaming.

This has to be a real cruel joke.

“I don’t understand. You.. you don’t like me either! Sometimes I think we could be friends, but then you distance yourself again and I… I have no idea what I’m always doing wrong to fuck everything up!” Dean raises his voice and he hears someone laughing at him. That stings and he can feel his tears again.

Castiel puts his hand over Dean’s mouth, so he will be quiet.

“Dean, I’m in love with you.” 

Dean thinks about licking Castiel’s hand that is still over his mouth and he knows his eyes are wide now. But this is just …. this is just the worst thing people have ever done to him and they did a lot. 

“No listen. I just told you how wonderful you are and I don’t want to ruin your beautiful soul. I did worse things than stealing some money so I can survive. I’m scared that one day you will wake up and see what kind of monster I am. All I did was to protect you from myself.” Castiel says and Dean frowns. This time Castiel takes his hand away.

“Bullshit!” Dean says and Castiel’s smile turns so sad.

“I almost killed my father.” Castiel says and Dean’s heart stops.

“What happened?” Dean whispers back and he slowly cuddles against Castiel again. Castiel seems surprised at that, but Dean knows there is more behind that story. He doesn’t think Castiel is violent just because he can.

“He… he attacked my sister and when I saw him getting a knife I jumped between them.” Castiel explains slowly and he lifts his orange shirt. Dean looks down and sees a huge scar over Castiel’s stomach.

“Oh.” Dean whispers and he carefully strokes over it. Castiel shudders under his touch, but he makes no movement to stop him. Dean smiles a tiny bit, he likes the scar, even though it’s something Castiel probably hates about himself.

Dean wonders if Castiel would like all his scars, too.

“The knife was already in me when I took the nearest thing to me and hit him with it on the head. My sister called an ambulance because I was almost bleeding out and my father… well he was “lucky” too.” Castiel says and does finger quotes at the word Lucky. 

Dean wants to kiss him.

“I’m sorry that happened. Only proves to me again, how wonderful you are. You wanted to protect her. Like you protected me before. You don’t deserve to be here!” Dean whispers back, his hand still on Castiel’s scar. He feels weirdly calm. Castiel… Castiel has a different past then him, but he also shares similar memories. 

“Not your fault.” Castiel mutters and now he pulls his shirt down again. Dean snuggles a bit closer, he’s still sad, but it feels okay for the moment.

“You don’t think I’m….” Castiel starts, but Dean is already shaking his head.

“I think I’m in love with you too. And that I can decide who I love, not anyone else.” Dean answers easily and it’s the first time ever he said it to someone. He’s scared of the reaction, even though Castiel had said it first. He still watches Castiel’s face.

Watches the smile form.

“Oh Dean.” 

And before Dean can react Castiel leans down and closes his lips right against his own. Dean’s eyes fall closed against his will, but he won’t complain. Castiel doesn’t deepen the kiss, but it still feels like so much. Like a promise.

“C-Cas.” Dean gasps quietly, when they break their kiss. Castiel’s smile now is brighter than anything Dean has ever seen and he hopes he will have more moments where he can see it like this.

“I hope you will not regret this.” Castiel whispers, while he strokes a short strand of hair out of Dean’s face. Dean blushes badly, but he loves how careful Castiel is with him. 

“I will never regret you.” Dean says and then his body betrays him and he stifles a yawn. Oh god that is so embarrassing. Castiel chuckles and gets up from the bed. Dean pouts, he had hoped for a bit more.

Castiel gets his newest book from the table and then comes back to the bed. Dean expects him to climb up the short ladder, but instead he crawls back into bed with him. Dean makes room for him.

“You ever heard of the story of the princess and the frog`?” Castiel asks and Dean shakes his head. He never really had the time to read or the money to find some books just for himself to enjoy.

Castiel smiles and then he actually starts to read the story. Quietly so he doesn’t disturb the other inmates. But the low rumble from Castiel and the strong chest beneath his head, is everything Dean needs to fall asleep.

He dreams of a future, full of sunshine and blue eyes.

  


*

  


“Hey Baby.” Dean whines a bit when Castiel comes into the cell really late. He had another talk with his lawyer. Dean had waited for him to come back but then fell asleep instead. 

Dean’s mood changes, when Castiel kisses him softly. 

“Did it go well?” Dean mumbles back and then he chuckles when Castiel continues to pepper all his face with kisses. He doesn’t understand how Castiel could ever think he was a bad person. 

He treats Dean like a prince.

“It went good. I’m free in only two months.” Castiel says and at that Dean hastily opens his eyes. Castiel is smiling so beautifully again and Dean pulls him on top of him. Castiel complies and chuckles.

“I’m so happy for you! Finally.” Dean initiates the next kiss and he opens his mouth all too happily, so Castiel can deepen the kiss. Dean is glad he is already laying.

“Me too. Then we can start new. Together.” Castiel says and he presses another kiss to Dean’s forehead. Dean however pouts.

“Also means I have to be without you for one month and twenty-nine days.” Dean says and he can feel already how much that will hurt. 

“But, you are allowed to get out of here tomorrow! I’m so glad when you get real food again and can see the stars. It’s not that long until I can join you.” Castiel says and Dean nods. He will still be sad tomorrow when he has to pack his things.

“Bobby wrote me, he will wait for me tomorrow at the gate.” Dean says and he is glad that even Sammy accepted his apology. They write each other a lot and Dean told them both about his boyfriend. 

He does hope to move in with Castiel as soon as possible though. He doesn’t think he can sleep without Castiel’s arms around him.

“I’m glad he will. Wouldn’t want you to be alone.” Castiel says and he laughs when Dean pouts again. Castiel is very protective of him, Dean had learned that fast but he likes it a lot.

When they’re sitting at lunch and Dean sits on his lap, people are always staring at him. Or when they are outside holding hands. Nobody even dares to say something. Castiel can be that scary.

Even though he is just a huge dork.

Dean laughs too, when Castiel kisses him and the lights on the corridor go out. It’s already time to sleep, but Dean has other plans. His hands stroke over Castiel’s back and then one slips under Castiel’s pants.

Castiel stops.

“Here?” Castiel asks and sounds so bewildered. So far they hadn’t done anything besides kissing and falling asleep in their arms. Dean can’t wait another two months. He wants this memory. “But after everything…” Castiel starts and Dean shakes his head. He knows which memories Castiel means.

“It’s okay. I’m over that, at least as much as I can be. I want you to make it all better. Show me how it… it is to be loved? Please?” Dean asks and he even tries to bat his eyelashes. Castiel smiles so beautifully again and then nods.

“But you have to be quiet.” Castiel growls and then he sits up on Dean’s hips. He gets rid of his shirt and then he has to stand up fully again. Dean uses that time to throw his own shirt away and shimmies out of his pants.

He’s a bit ashamed of his body, but Castiel had told him before how much he likes it. Dean whines, when Castiel takes too much time. At least he is stripped down to his underwear as well.

“Cas.” Dean whispers, hoping that he’s not too loud. 

“I’m here beloved.” Castiel whispers back, against Dean’s skin. Dean shudders under the next kisses. Castiel is so gentle with him, carefully kissing his neck first, then his shoulders and his nipples.

Dean moans and Castiel stops. He is still smiling, but puts a hand over his mouth.

“Sorry.” Dean mumbles, grinning behind the hand. Castiel shakes his head, but then continues to kiss him. Dean is so distracted he doesn’t even realize it when Castiel’s hand finds his cock.

“Be good now, hm? Then I’ll make this good for you too, Baby. You deserve to have your first time to be wonderful.” Castiel whispers and Dean feels himself nodding. It feels so good to have Castiel’s hand around his cock.

While Dean had blown some guys and given handjobs before, he had never gotten some himself. He is so glad that Castiel is his first one. 

“Feels so good, Cas.” Dean mouths back and then Castiel pushes his underwear down, his cock springs free and Dean sighs. Yeah that is even better. He knows they can’t really have penetration sex here, but he hopes he can feel Castiel in some way too.

“So beautiful, just look at you.” Castiel whispers and Dean aches his back as good as he can. Castiel even lets him fuck up into his hand, after he had licked over his hand, so it wouldn’t hurt Dean.

“Wanna feel you too, please? Gonna be so good.” Dean says as quietly as he can. He really doesn’t want anyone to hear, but it feels amazing when Castiel sucks his right nipple again.

“Okay.” Castiel says and they both laugh a bit when Castiel tries to get out of his own underwear. Dean is glad that he found someone so special like boyfriend. 

Castiel’s cock curves up to his stomach and it’s bigger than Dean’s. He loves it already and carefully curls his hand around it. Castiel seems to like that and soon Dean gets a bit bolder and strokes faster.

“Shshsh.” Castiel makes again and Dean hadn’t even realized he had started to moan again. Just because he was getting his boyfriend off. Dean’s own cock jerks once and then again, when Castiel raises his eyebrow.

Dean bats his eyelashes again and Castiel rolls his eyes playfully. He leans down to kiss Dean again and at that he presses their cocks together. This time it’s Castiel who growls quietly.

He moves his hips and Dean bites into his own hand, to hide any sound. Fuck this feels so good. Dean is leaking so much precum already and Castiel’s dick feels so good against his own.

Just as Dean thinks it can’t get better, Castiel holds his fingers out. Dean hastily takes them into his mouth, using his spit to get them wet and then finally he puts his hand around both their cocks.

“Oh Dean. You’re being so good for me.” Castiel whispers and Dean shudders again, because apparently he has a praise kink. Castiel breaths a bit harsher already and Dean is already close too.

“Want you to come on me.” Dean whispers directly into Castiel’s ear and then Castiel bites into Dean’s shoulder as he comes all over him. Dean comes only a second later, because he had never seen anything so hot.

“Fuck.” Castiel says and Dean giggles, because his boyfriend swears so rarely. Dean closes his eyes, still under Castiel and feeling the happiest he has ever been.

Castiel carefully rolls over and Dean snuggles against him.

“I love you.” Dean whispers and Castiel kisses his cheek, before he mumbles out his own love confession. 

“Did I ever tell you the story about a man who found love in prison?” Castiel chuckles and Dean tickles his side.

“No do tell.”

  


*

  


“Cas!”

Dean hastily runs over the whole parking lot and ignores Bobby and Sam’s laughter. He just wants to have his boyfriend back.

Castiel catches him easily. 

“I missed you so much.” Castiel says, kissing Dean’s forehead and then he says hello to Dean’s family. Happily knowing he will be part of that now.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it! :) 
> 
> -
> 
> Find me on [tumblr](https://notfunnydean.tumblr.com)
> 
> If you are interested. I have my very own Discord family! You can totally join us. We're a funny group and RP as SPN characters, go crazy about the show and just have a lot of fun! If you do wanna join - check out [my page](https://notfunnydean.tumblr.com/post/189945431820/notfunnydeans-spn-family) about it.


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